K: Our first son, Kolbe, arrived six days early (on our anniversary nonetheless), so with our second, I (mistakenly) assumed that our he would make an early arrival too. Around 37 weeks, almost every other day I would tell Joshua that I thought our son was coming soon. Imagine my surprise (and frustration) as our due date came and went. Finally, on Friday, March 20th, as I was getting Kolbe ready for bed, I felt a twinge and remember wondering if it could be a contraction. An hour later, I started feeling more twinges, and by the next hour they had fallen into a regular pattern, fairly close together. I waited as long as possible to tell Joshua what was going on because of all the false alarms of the previous weeks and not wanting to get his hopes up. J: When Kelsey told me she was in labor, I was both relieved and scared. I was relieved that the day had finally come after waiting longer than we both expected. I was scared because this was our last day with one baby who was extremely easy to take care of. Our whole dynamic was about to change, and it was never going to go back to the way it was. When the due date passed, it was tough since we had both expected Luka to come early, like Kolbe. It felt like we were just wasting time waiting around. I had started paternity leave around Luka's due date, so it was nice to be able to hang around home and help Kelsey in any way I could (it was mostly just staying out of her way when she cleaned, which was fine by me!) K: We called Madelyn, my sister-in-law/doula, first, who luckily was already on her way to Houston in anticipation of the birth. After that was a text to my mom to let her know to get ready to come over to stay with Kolbe. Then we called our midwife. She told us that she had been feeling under the weather the past days and had been running a fever. Because of a little thing called the Corona virus, she wanted to be extra cautious and suggested that we use a different midwife on call. Looking back, this could have been fairly dramatic news, but I honestly hadn’t connected very well with my midwife, so I really didn’t mind having a stranger attend our birth. J: When we called the midwife and she gave us the option, I was honestly a little relieved. I know Kelsey had struggled with them at points, so I didn’t think it could be a whole lot worse. It was also calming that we would have Madelyn with us, who we knew would be able to speak for us as Kelsey and I aren’t the best at telling people what we want/need. I expected Kelsey to react a LOT worse than she did, and she handled it like a freaking champ. I don’t recall her being upset or worried one bit, and I admired how she just rolled with the punches and has continued to roll with them during this time of quarantine. We were fortunate that the Corona virus wasn’t at its peak and were still able to have multiple people in the room. K: By 11 PM, my mom had arrived at our apartment and we left for the birth center. I remember as soon as we got in the car, a song called “Another in the Fire” by Hillsong United came on. This song had been really meaningful for me in the months leading up to the birth, and I had never heard it played on the radio before. We made the 30 minute drive to the birth center in Katy (pretty sure it was 20 minutes that time with Joshua’s driving skills), and our new midwife and a midwife student who I had met several times and loved were there to greet us. Contractions in the car were definitely not fun, but being in the calm atmosphere of the birth center immediately made me feel more at ease. For Kolbe, we had the full hospital experience with tons of nurses, being hooked up to machines, and not being able to get out of the bed or even move positions. The birth center was a stark, welcome contrast. There were only the four us there when we arrived, (me, Joshua, our midwife, Melissa, and birth student, Sue), and Madelyn arrived shortly after, and a birth assistant came closer to the actual birth. There was no rushing or hurriedness. Just dimmed lights, soft music, essential oils diffusing, and casual conversation. I was so impressed with Melissa & Sue. They were constantly attending to me without me even knowing. They were silently timing contractions and making observations and listening to me talk to my husband and Madelyn, but never intruding. They would occasionally check the baby’s heart rate in whatever position I happened to be in at the moment, hardly even disturbing me. This was a big deal for me because with Kolbe, hospital procedures required constant fetal heart rate monitoring which is why I couldn’t move from the bed and made it nearly impossible for me to deal with the pain of contractions. J: This experience was completely opposite of what the hospital was, from the vibe of everyone to just allowing Kelsey to be herself and do what she needs to do. It was really great that Kelsey was able to walk around and get through contractions however she felt was best instead of being tied down to a bed. It was just so peaceful, music going and no bright lights and no loud noises. During labor I pretty much was a leaning rest for Kelsey. I definitely had the easiest job out of everyone in the room, and I was perfectly fine with it. Madelyn kept massaging Kelsey and helping her breathe through everything, and I just kept letting her lean on me. I was a lot more prepared for this birth, more specifically my role for this birth and realized that even though I didn’t feel like I was doing a lot, it made a huge difference. K: When we arrived at the birth center, I was still able to talk through contractions and sit on the couch and carry on a conversation. The pain intensified quickly though, and Madelyn helped me find ways to relax my body and embrace each wave of contractions. This mostly involved standing and leaning heavily on Joshua (thanks dear) and deep, deep breaths. I vomited at the end of one contraction and was told I’d made it to the transition stage. This meant it was time for my saving grace: the tub. In the birthing suite, there was a huge tub for water births and managing pain, and they saved it for close to the end of labor as the pain increases. I didn’t want to give birth in the tub but I happily elected to use it for pain management. Oh my gosh, that hot water felt so good. I don’t know how long I spent in there, but it felt like at least an hour. I leaned over the side, holding onto to Joshua’s hands the whole time with Madelyn next to us. It was then that they let me know I was 7-8 centimeters dilated and Luka would be coming soon. I was also amazed that they were still able to check Luka’s heart rate while I was in the tub, just reaching right in the water without hesitation. When I started feeling the urge to push, it felt impossible to stand up and get out of the tub, but I finally made it out and to the bed with the help of the whole team. The next part felt so quick but the most intense, emotional experience of my life. There was pushing, lots of loud noises from me, grasping onto Joshua, almost kicking Melissa in the face, and encouragement from everyone. I’ve heard people talk about getting to the moment where it feels like you have nothing left and can’t do anymore, and that moment was real for me, too. I remember thinking, I am not going to be able to get this baby out, they’re just going to have to get it out for me. And then all of the sudden, at 2:40 AM, he was there. First his head, then the rest of him, and they put him on my chest. That is one of the craziest feelings. The exhaustion, endorphins, excitement. I think I just kept saying over and over, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.” I remember Joshua crying. We were talking about the differences between a medicated birth and a natural birth, and Madelyn said something that I totally felt 100%: the reward is the same but feels like you earned it so much more. Having a natural birth at a birth center was a true gift. I know this isn’t a possibility for so many. We were so blessed with a healthy pregnancy and birth without complications. Our birth experience with Luka helped us bond so much, both as a couple and with our new baby. Luka has been such a sweet addition to our family and we can’t wait to watch him grow. J: My first thought after birth was just pure joy and awe. I couldn’t believe that Kelsey just had a baby and was able to do it with no pain medicine or anything. I just remember crying, I was so overwhelmed with love for her and this little human. I cannot even begin to tell you how much respect I had for her in that moment. Seeing her go through all the pain, and wanting to give up, but persevering to eventually pushing out this little baby. Thinking back on the birth and during that time, I still can feel the onions getting chopped. It would have been so much different if Madelyn weren’t there, and we were so blessed to be able to have her with us the whole time. I honestly don’t know if I would’ve been able to do her role and help Kelsey have as smooth of a birth. Without her during that time (and honestly the days after) I’m not sure how we would’ve ended up. The first days and weeks were pretty easy I feel. I think I had in my mind that it was going to be the hardest days ever and we would get absolutely no sleep and never have time to do anything, and I’m glad to say that I was wrong. Luka was a good sleeper (for a newborn) and with Kolbe going to day care the first week of Luka being born, it was really pretty nice to be able to focus on Kelsey and Luka and not have to worry about the energizer bunny that was Kolbe running around the house. The following Saturday, we packed up and left to our new house in Bryan, and that first week was by far the toughest. Adjusting to both kids at home, a new house, and trying to unpack was very difficult. Eventually we got in a great routine and made sure we stick to it (with flexibility of course). A LOT of walks for sure, Kolbe and I take 2 walks every day, as long as the weather agrees with us, the first one being without Luka and Kelsey, to give her some (hopeful) relaxation time. Its just been a crazy time, but we’ve grown so much because of it. We’ve been able to be present to each other, as well as both kids. Honestly, I don’t think I would change much if I could.
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